Wordless Wednesday: Celebrating Nature's Life Cycles

For the past few weeks, the our household has been obsessed with caterpillars, tadpoles and birds. We have read countless books, watched many YouTube videos, and have had numerous thought-provoking conversations about these animals. There is something magical about watching life emerge, nature change, and the life cycle continue on during the spring.

We sent away for a caterpillar kit and watched them grow and spin their chrysalis.

Five out of five caterpillars turned into butterflies! The boys were fascinated by the red meconium the butterflies dripped out.

We released them by the lavender plants after we noticed the same type of butterfly landing there.

We met some friends at their neighborhood pond and spent the morning collecting tadpoles and catching/releasing frogs.

There were so many tadpoles that the children were scooping them up by the handful!

My Littlest One was pretty proud of his catch.

The little black dots in the aquarium were the tadpoles we took home. Thinking there would be a mortality rate, we overestimated how many we would need. A week later with no casualties, I am thinking we are going to have a TON of frogs in a few weeks!

Although I don't have any photos to post, you can click on the links below to see a live webcam of the red tailed hawks and their babies, the bald eagle and their eaglets, and the great blue heron who's eggs should be hatching in the next week. It is surprisingly relaxing, amazingly miraculous, and as one of my little four year old friends said, "It is so cute, it makes me want to cry!"

http://www.allaboutbirds.org/Page.aspx?pid=2422&ac=ac&utm_source=Cornell%20Lab%20eNews&utm_campaign=48964f52af-eNews_HawkBirdCam_March_2012&utm_medium=email

http://outdoorchannel.com/Conservation/EagleCam.aspx

http://www.allaboutbirds.org/page.aspx?pid=2433


Enjoy and celebrate all of nature's changes you can!
Namaste~
Amber

Finding Joy in the Mundane

As I reach for another dish towel to fold, I think back over the events of the day. Early morning spent in silent yoga before the sun rose. Scrambling eggs and buttering waffles for the four little ones I spend my days with. Playing card games, pretending to be astronauts, digging in sand, feeding the chickens, pulling weeds, reading books, and supervising projects before lunch. As the afternoon unfolds, I take time to check email, do dishes, wipe down the counters, and fold some laundry while the children take turns playing computer games, as is our ritual every afternoon.

I pick up a pair of my son's pajamas and my mind wanders to what will happen that evening. I smile as I think about inviting my 3-year-old to help me hand wash the big pots and pans while his older brother and dad put together the Erector set model they have been working on. I know that my youngest one will love splashing in the water, eager to be the helper, as my oldest child will appreciate the one-on-one time before my husband leaves to work for the night.

Then it dawns on me... I have become what, as a 23-year-old single girl, I had feared. I am living a (Gasp!) "mundane" life. And the shocker of it all? I have never felt so content, free, or filled with joy as I do in these moments of everyday life.

A decade ago, I was the girl who wasn't going to settle down until I had my basket full of stories "to tell the grandkids." This was how I determined what adventure I would pursue next or how to make major decisions. Cliff jumping? Check. Sleeping outside next to hot springs in the desert? Check. Traveling cross-country alone by train? Check. While all of my friends were getting engaged and getting their first "real" job, I was living in a tent in Yosemite National Park, working at the Mountain Shop to pay for my hiking, climbing, and partying gear.

My old playground and home in my early 20s. Nice view, huh?

I thought that this type of wandering would bring contentment. I gave myself the nature name of "Santosha," which means 'Contentment' in Sanskrit. However, through all of my wandering and wondering, I didn't ever truly get a sense of being at peace or feeling free. I was worried about my next move, about finding someone to share my life with, and with what to do with my life. I was partying too much to fit in and didn't feel I could measure up to those in my peer group who were either in a job with benefits and a steady relationship or successful mountaineers living to climb and climbing to live.

Fast forward ten years or so and here I am, a work-from-home mom with a husband and two kids, a mortgage, and a minivan. I am guessing that I am not the only woman who has gotten to a similar point, looked around, and said, "How did I get here?" I still have big adventures, but now they are at a slower pace...and I bring more snacks and wet wipes. I am still gathering stories to tell my grandkids, but now they are memories from when their parents were young. My moments of bliss are no longer spent sitting alone on a mountaintop, but lying next to my husband on a blanket while watching my children run in a field.

Resting with my littles during one of our big adventures.

There will be more mountains to climb, more hot springs to soak in, and more road trips to take if I wish to take them. However, I am finding joy in the now...laundry and all. The mundane I was so afraid of has allowed me enough time to see the beauty which surrounds me and the truth that is within me. And if my 23-year-old self could see me now, I think she would smile and feel peace in knowing that I have everything I had wished for...and more than I could have imagined.

Namaste~
Amber

A Manifesto of an Emerging Life

For years now, I have struggled, over-analyzed, doubted, and beat myself up for just about everything. I wasn't patient enough with my kids. I wasn't confident enough at work. I wasn't giving enough to others. In my eyes, I just wasn't enough. About a year ago, a question was posed to me that shifted how I thought about myself. I was asked if I was my own best friend, what kind of friend would I be. I realized I was a shitty friend and I needed to work on that relationship.That began the journey that has lead me to today as I continue to walk towards the path towards self-acceptance.

I began by being gentler with myself. I started to be patient with myself when I made mistakes and honored my need for self-care. I allowed myself to show and feel emotion and to be vulnerable in front of others. I set down the need for perfection and let go of the desire to look like I had it all together all the time. This was not easy. It was scary and there were moments where I felt selfish or foolish. I often questioned why I was spending so much time on meditation, yoga, journaling, or digging up old wounds to examine when I would be "fine" just living the way I was living. But, we all know that those words were my ego's attempt to trick me into staying stuck in the same old patterns.

However, a year later, I can say I am breathing easier. I am smiling more. The "checking-in" with myself seems like a natural part of my day and it comes a little easier when difficult emotions arise. I enjoy being around the person inside me and have fun being creative, joyful, and playful at times. I am not a two-dimensional person who is trying so hard to fit some image. I am starting to be able to connect with my friends and family on a deeper level, exposing my authentic self and feeling real emotions and empathy. I am still scared sometimes, but I know that it is what I fear or resist the most that I need to address. 

I am enough, just as I am. 

I am One with all other beings. 

I have the power to choose how to respond to every situation. 

I am open to the Divine and the Divine is opening in me. 

I am loved and I AM love.

Once I made the shift to truly living by these words, my life seemed to unfold in front and around me as a gift from the Universe (or the Divine or God or whatever that all giving energy that surrounds us is called.) And I keep looking behind me to see when doubt, fear, self-judgment, and anger are going to gain ground on me and take back over my life. But, so far, so good. I am not saying that I don't have my share of challenging moments, upsetting life events that have happened to my friends or family, or that I expect my life to be problem-free. However, I am saying that because of  the soul work that I have done and continue to do, my intention is to live my life as mindfully aware and joyfully present as possible. To keep turning over those stones in my psyche and seeing what needs to be healed, what needs to be released, and what needs to be cherished. And through this work, I hope to inspire others to do the same, because this is what I know to be true.

You are enough, just as you are.

You are One with all other beings.

You have the power to choose how to respond to every situation.

You can be open to the Divine and the Divine is waiting to open within you.

You are loved and You ARE Love.

Namaste~

Amber

Wordless Wednesday: Cup Stacking

The new obsession in our house is cup stacking. If you have never seen a cup stacking competition, look it up on YouTube and you will see elementary-junior high school aged children stacking and unstacking 12 cups into pyramids in record speed. I am not sure how the boys learned about this sport, but the past week has seen large pyramids, small pyramids, speed stacking, and strategic placement of cups. I have used the opportunity to discuss counting, prediction, subtracting, and the value of persistence. It is so fun when their natural curiosity leads them to learn new things and provides ways for me to scaffold onto their learning with solid curriculum skill building.

The kids' 17-year-old aunt has pulled her dusty 'official' cup stacking set out of storage and has it ready for us the next time we see her. Until then, no plastic or paper cup in our house is safe.

Mini Paper Cups - Counting, Subtraction, Balance, Fine Motor...and Feeling Proud!

Testing Different Theories, Discussing Results, Trying a Variety of Materials... and Friendship Building!

Testing Different Surfaces, Problem Solving (when others got too close), Persistence...and Hide-n-Seek!

What is the new 'thing' at your house? I would love to hear more ideas on how to use common household items to encourage math, creativity, and other skills.

Until next time...I hope all of your days feel balanced and stacked tall with inspiration!

Namaste~

Amber

Metamorphosis in the Moment: Accepting the Moment Is What It Is

Sometimes I have a hard time accepting reality. It astounds me that 50% of preschoolers do not get to play outside every day. I cannot believe that there are teenagers within the mile radius of where I live that choose to carry and use guns on one another. It is hard for me to understand why families feel the need to have the TV on at an almost constant rate and know the characters in their shows better than they know each other or themselves. This kind of reality makes my mouth drop open and my head spin when I consider the lives of others and how their experiences will shape the future of our world.

Beyond the gloomy, negative reality that I cannot accept, I have also noticed there are aspects of my daily life I have difficulty accepting if it is not in line with what I want to see happen. This is less about what I am philosophically opposed to and more that I am resistant to the truth of the situation when it doesn't suit how I think things should be. "The moment is as it is" is mantra that I have been using for awhile when my ideal of life and reality seem to collide.

• "I can't believe my son is refusing to get off his bike and it is time for dinner." The moment is what it is. Breathe. Look at his point of view and talk to him in his level or relax your expectations of time and his 'compliance' if that is possible. 
• "I don't understand why I cannot master crow pose in yoga class." The moment is what it is. Breathe. Know that there are poses that you are able to do now that you couldn't a few months ago. This will come in time with practice and patience. Or maybe it won't. And that doesn't have any bearing on your worth.
• "Why doesn't my husband understand how important this is to me?" The moment is what it is. Breathe. Remember that your husband is not you and has a whole wealth of other experiences and ideas to draw from. With open communication, patience, and love, you can try to tell him how you feel. But, he might not ever truly 'feel' how you feel and that is okay.

I had another example of resisting reality yesterday over a caterpillar craft. The children I care for and my kiddos have been studying caterpillars and butterflies both in my home and at the preschool they attend.

My boys and their caterpillars.

My plan yesterday was to help them create caterpillars using egg cartons and a variety of craft items (markers, stickers, construction paper shapes, googly eyes, straws, little wooden sticks, Q-tips, etc.) I introduced the activity by telling a felt board story about a caterpillar who changes into a butterfly. They crawled around the room like caterpillars in between books during group story time and flapped their wings like butterflies to the table. I talked to them about choices on how to add the legs of their choice, where they might like to draw the face, and all of the other options for designing their caterpillar. Then I turned them loose to create while I worked on my own project and assisted them when they asked for my help.

After a few minutes, it was apparent that caterpillar creating was more difficult than I had anticipated. Their legs weren't attaching easily. They needed tape. Their eyes kept sliding off. My youngest was in my oldest son's space and he was angry at him for taking some of his straws he wanted to use. This was NOT the ideal caterpillar creating that I had envisioned. I tried to help each child as best as I could problem solve what they wanted to do with the materials we had available. I reminded them to breathe when they were frustrated with their problematic caterpillars. I asked them to practice their patience when waiting for me to come help since I had three other children who all needed me at the same time. I forgot to follow my own advice and keep the perspective of 'the moment is what it is'. I didn't immediately see that the process of problem solving, persistence, and patience was more important than the end result of some egg carton that would end up recycled at some point anyway.

Caterpillar Creating Materials

After some time, the children finally found their rhythm on what they wanted to do and how they could accomplish their goals. In the meantime, three out of the four boys had discovered that if they place the little wooden sticks inside the straws and blow, it made excellent shooters. They were practicing their shooters while they were practicing their patience...and I was practicing my 'the moment is what it is...breathe' mantra as I worked my way around the table dodging flying sticks. After a minute or so of this, I faced my resistance to the reality of the situation head on. I could a) tell them that they were not allowed to blow the sticks out of the straws and send them away from the table if they did, b) take the sticks and straws away, c) look at their experimentation as a learning experience and let them continue at the table, or d) see their interest and provide a safe way for them to explore their theories of straw/stick blowing. In retrospect, I am sure there were many other options...these were just the four that popped in my head while I was dodging sticks and trying to repair caterpillar legs.

After a few more times of "The moment is what it is...Breathe," I vocalized how I was feeling. "I can see that you all really want to experiment with blowing the sticks out of the straws, but I am worried that they will hit someone and there will be a big mess to clean up at the end. I am trying to think of a way that you can still do it, but no one gets hurt or we don't have to do a ton of work cleaning up." I suggested that I get out something big that they could aim it into and they suggested a cooking pot. We set up the pot in the corner and I showed them the area they could stand so that they would have a chance in making it into the container. I felt better knowing that I wasn't prohibiting a possible learning opportunity AND I didn't have to clean up or console someone who had a stick hit them in the face. As for the caterpillars? They all either finished and was satisfied with it, decided not to do it after determining they couldn't make it the way they wanted to, or was in process of still working on it after about 45 minutes when we needed to clean up for lunch.

The lessons learned for all of us yesterday were much more than 'how to make a caterpillar out of an egg carton.' They learned about gravity, inertia, problem solving, working together, implementing an idea, patience, and the creative process.  I learned about perspective, mindfulness, creative problem solving, and honoring everyone where they were in the moment...including myself. By slowing down and breathing, I was able to work through a situation that would have been a huge trigger for me a year ago. Slowly, but surely, I am feeling the metamorphosis from over-controlling perfectionist into a mindful, accepting, authentic person. And like the butterfly emerging after her life change, this will set me free to float through my days.

Namaste~
Amber

Sunday Surf: Wisdom from our Community

For the past few weeks, I have taken a break from the ritual of reading every parenting, creativity, and mindfulness article I come across. It has served me VERY well over the winter to have this practice. However, with the onset of spring, my body and mind would rather be tending to my chickens, digging in my garden, or playing at the park with my kids. Today I was drawn to follow my heart on what I needed to read for the few moments that my children were happily playing independently inside. I started clicking on links in the Facebook pages I follow and I found much wisdom within these pages. I feel so fortunate to have an online community that I can turn to for advice, inspiration, or camaraderie in this journey of living, loving, and creating with heart. I have learned so much from my soul sisters and brothers. Below is a sampling of the wisdom I found which spoke to me. I hope that you 'like' or 'follow' the pages you find that speak to you. Together, we can support one another, inspire each other, and learn from people going through similar situations from across the world.


"Why Punishment Will Not Make Children Behave" from Authentic Parenting
http://www.authenticparenting.info/2012/04/why-punishment-will-not-make-children.html

"Angry - Yell - Cry - Repeat" from The Parenting Passageway
http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/08/09/angry-yell-cry-repeat/

Want to Stop Yelling? Here's How." from Aha! Parenting
http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/Commit_Yourself/

"Raising a Boy Using Shame" from The Good Men Project
http://goodmenproject.com/dadsgood-2/raising-a-boy-using-shame/

"Parenting Boys: What Boys Need from Moms" from Kelley Ward
http://kelleyward.hubpages.com/hub/Parenting-Boys-What-Boys-Need-From-Moms

"Turning Combat Into Love" from Elephant Journal
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/04/transforming-combat-into-love/

"Children Need to See Breastfeeding" from Wise Way Tribe
http://wisewaytribe.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/children-need-to-see-breastfeedin/

"Not Everything Is An Attack" from Tales of a Kitchen Witch
http://jonirae.com/not-everything-is-an-attack/

Happy Reading!
Namaste~
Amber

Flowing Through My Days

Frederick Douglass said, "Without a struggle, there can be no progress. " Oprah Winfrey is quoted saying, "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength." Danny Dreyer states, "I look at struggle as an opportunity to grow. True struggle happens when you can sense what is not working for you and you're willing to take the appropriate action to correct the situation. Those who accomplish change are willing to engage the struggle."

These quotes I can relate to. I know struggle. I know striving. I know sacrificing and analyzing and hoping and praying and practicing to be what and how I want to be. What I am less familiar with is what has been happening in my life lately. I am in the flow. I am how I am. I am present. For the most part, I am happy.

What has lead to this? For one, I attended a very powerful women's retreat a couple weeks ago that focused on the Spiritual Laws. Wise women gathered and discussed using the power of attraction, intention, gratitude, and abundance to make positive, radical change within our lives. I had heard of all of these concepts before, but it wasn't until I thought of them as 'tools' to be used or played with that I really got excited about putting them to use.

When I considered my life and what I wanted to see in it, I realized that in almost every aspect, I had started a small fire burning. Throughout the winter, I had gathered the wood, set the kindling, and this spring matches were lit to clear off all of the debris and build towards the fiery, passionate life I had imagined.